Ah , Port Balifor : the final frontier. The last bastion of preachers, thieves and smugglers. It was the last outpost before the great desolation, set by the Bay of Balifor. The waters were dark and Balinor could see the red moon, peeking behind a mass of clouds when he arrived. Port Balifor and desolation were the only places he had not ventured to. His was certain of reuniting with
his long lost mother. He sniffed the air for any hints of her but smelled only dead fish and stale vomit.
" Shoots," he cursed , offended nostrils flaring. " Da kine smell is not like da momma." He reflected for a moment on the odor then shrugged. " time to go." He trudged forward in uneven strides down the dirty main street. The bustling of ware and shouts of
haggling assaulted his ear drums, and soon Balinor found himself amidst a large marketplace. Many tents and booths lined the dirty roads. He passed the knees and ankles of many travelers, marveling at the quickness in witch his pouches grew heavier. He dodged his way through the crowd,marveling at a piece of green cheese he had acquired. It seemed to melt in his mouth, that cheese. Salty and yet with a hint of basil. Not watching were he was going, Bali stumbled into someone and fell with a groan. Helping hands lifted him and he found himself nearly face to face with a very official looking kender.
The kender was obviously important. Balinor knew this because of the shiny star shaped thing attached to the kender's collar. It reflected sliver in the pale moonlight, Bali stared in awe at it's radiant beauty. " Ahh I see you admire my badge" said the kender
Bali nodded and smiled " Dats da kine ."
" Indeed," replied the official, sternly " And you'd better watch where you are going or this badge will see to it that you spend the night in my underground dungeon. "
Balinor had seen many underground dungeons . They always brought him adventure on a grand scale. But always to his disappointment, his mother was never discovered within. But could it be true? Did this official looking kender really own an underground dungeon? Balinor could barley contain his excitement. "I like see you dunjin." he said taking another bite of the precious cheese. The kender seemed surprised. His eyebrows came together in mute confusion. " Ya." Balinor explained. " I like find my momma. maybe she in da kine."
" Y - your mother?" the kender stammered, tugging his blond topknot.
" Yes." Bali continued," Me looking for her for long long time. Went see all da werld. Never did find her. Always looking ."
The kender's confused look turned to one of sympathy. " I know how you feel. I lost a mother once." Bali could see tears begin to well in his eyes. Soon he had to bite his lip to keep from crying himself. There was a long moment of silence then the kender
shook his head as if to clear it of intruding thoughts. " Never mind all that. Such is the fate of the afflicted right?"
Balinor stared at him blankly, not quite understanding." She was sick yah?"
" you could say that." the kender shook his head again." No time for that now though. Ive had 6 other kender wander into my town today." he sniffed. " These outsiders! pah they think they can just waltz right in to any town!" he glared indignantly at Balinor, eying him from tangled top knot to black boots. " Ithought there weren't going to be any more intrusions. I was about to enjoy an ale. I'm off duty you see."
Balinor had an idea ." Come then. we go to pub. I buy you ale and we talk bout da mommas."
The kender's eyes widened, " Hmm yes. Perhaps we should drink on it. But business first. I am off duty but I'd hate to have my boss mad at me. I am the law here after all."
Balinor didn't know the word 'business'. He only knew that the kender had suffered a similar loss and their sharing of tears was symbolic of a friendship to be. " We go pub and do business" he insisted. "Den yu tell me bout ya lost momma."
The kender puffed out his cheeks and dropped his shoulders in defeat. "Okay. okay. Business first tho. Ive got this speech prepared that Ive got to give strangers but for now follow me. I know just the place."
* * * * * * * *
The door had opened for the umpteenth time that night, followed by the familiar sounds of boots stepping on the wooden floors of Pub 51. Cloaks fluttered form the small gust of wind that sneaked in, causing the fireplace to dance and the dangling
ceiling lamps to sway. Most continued to mindlessly sip their drinks, finding bliss at the ends of their fourty ounce
tankards.
Those heads that did look up gazed apprehensively at the town sheriff as he made his way to a dark corner table, followed by an odd little bearded man. At fist he seemed a kender, for the topknot and pouches were quite typical. A little ragged perhaps, but none too shabby. He had the curious eyes of a kender as well, but something just did not fit. It was almost a comical sight.
Balinor stared back and some laughter erupted but this he ignored. the big people always laughed at him . It was nothing new. He climbed into a chair across from the kender, legs dangling in space. " I'll have 2 ales dear" he told a pretty barmaid and she brought the order out seconds later. She raised an eyebrow at Balinor as she set the mugs on the table.
" last minute business eh Harlowe?"
" yes" he said bitterly " My day is never done."
After the barmaid departed, he took a long drink then sighed heavily. " Now then Business." he cleared his throat" if you’re going to be wandering through Port Balifor I’m gonna have to ask you a few questions. I don’t need any trouble here with the Dark Knights or anything and you need to stay away from the locals or they tend to get fussy. Anyway answer me these questions before you can continue. If I don’t like what you have to say I’m gonna give you a tour of our underground jail.” He took another long drink.
Balinor applauded. took a drink of his own. " Very nice talk." he noticed that the kender's face was already flushed from the ale in his system. Harlowe giggled. " thats not all of it mister. Question number one : what is your name?"
" Balinor Ronilab, " he replied thinking it was some sort of drinking game. he took another drink.
" a good kender name!" harlowe laughed gupling down the rest of his ale. " Daisy! More ale!" Another few mugs were placed on the table.
"question number two!" Said Harlowe. " what is your quest? " He gulped down another ale. " Oh wa-wa-wa-
wait. Dun tell me. I know. News you have received through kender gossip has been that a call has gone out for true kender to come to Port Balifor for a mission of great importance. "
Balinor burst into laughter.
" I've only heard it six times today" Said Harlowe, sarcastically. " in some form or another."
" dat and to find my momma " Balinor informed him in drunken seriousness.
"bwa-hahahahahah!" Harlowe fell off his seat just as the barmaid set down many more mugs of ale. "that should hold you. Ill put it on your tab as usual " she left with a wink. " Thanks daisy" He slapped her rear and made a funny face. "shh shh. wait. I feel another question coming. What is your favorite color?"
" Da blue sky kine" replied Bali and belched sonorously. " Da sky changes colors tho at night." In his drunkenness the statement seemed profoundly deep. But Harlowe only laughed.
" You wouldn't believe some of the answers I got today. Try to ask a kender a simple question. Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Check out this next one. Its great. I love to ask questions that confuse the snot out of people. bwahahahah!" Bali belched and shook with laughter.
" okay okay! " Harlowe silenced him with a hand" this is sheri-ush bishnesh mind you. what is the weirdest thing you have ever sheen?"
" Hmm..." Balinor thought long and hard then found an answer . " One day i seen a knight banging rocks
together to make horse sounds. and he hopped like this." he hopped on his chair in imitation.
" Bwa-ha-ha-ha!" Harlowe chugged his fourth ale."Too funny Mister Balinor, too funny.....Wow." He said dizzily. " I'm feelin no pain. Hey look : he held up five fingers. " This is the drunk test : How many fingers am I holding up?"
" Two!" Balinor yelled so loudly that the other patrons stared for a moment. When the silence cleared Balinor and Harlowe burst
into unchecked mirth. " BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Moooooo hahahahahahah! Yep yer drunk alright!!"
"So are you!" Balinor accused jokingly. " you face is all red!!"
"Yes" blurted the kender "As red as a dwarf , turned upside down and shook by a dark knight!!" The entire bar roared with laughter. being citizens , they all knew what the sheriff was referring too.
Suddenly something small and pointy bounced off of Balinor's head and laded in front of him. Upon closer inspection he found it to be a small piece of almond candy. Looking back, Bali noticed a huddling group of townspeople shaking with silent laughter.
" Quick" Harlowe grabbed his arm . " Do you have any candy in your pouches?"
"eh?" Bali was struck by another. "Give me all of your candy!" yelled Harlowe" Before its too late."
After searching through a few pouches Balinor found what he was looking for. He gave the kender a handful
of small rock candy."
"Now!" Harlowe was speaking so close to Bali that he could taste his ale soaked breath. " when I count to
three, you hide behind this table. I feel a battle brewing."
Another small missile pelted Bali's forehead followed by muffled laughter. " One, two" Harlowe sprang form his seat like a cat
in water, and overturned the table on its side." Three!" Balinor fell out of his chair , dodging a hail of thrown almond candy. Being an expert of cowering and hiding, he took an instant liking to Harlowes make shift battlement.
No sooner then Bali had taken cover , a thunderous " CANDY FIGHT!!!" rang out and he saw Harlowe launch a barrage of rock candy towards the laughing townspeople. That night Balinor Ronilab witnessed a candy fight within the Pub 51 of a cataclysmic magnitude.
