It was that time of day again. The time of day that Malcor, the red robed mage who owned “Malcor’s Mage Supplies and Apparatus,” had learned to dread: 10:17 in the morning. Every day, dozens of kender were arrested in Palanthas for petty theft and general nuisance. They were usually made to stay the night in prison, and then they were released in the morning. At ten o’clock in the morning, to be precise. The walk from the Palanthas City Jail to Malcor’s Mage Supplies and Apparatus generally takes almost exactly 17 minutes.
Usually, only two or three kender would wander into Malcor’s store. Today, though, Malcor groaned as he saw no less than six kender come through the door, chattering happily. They were accompanied by a gnome, who was chattering right along with them.
“Kender are not allowed in this shop,” Malcor said sternly. It didn’t help. It never did. As usual, Malcor had no recourse but to try to seem as boring as possible, and wait patiently until the kender went away.
The kender, however, seemed determined not to make this easy for Malcor. After wandering around the store for a few minutes (with Malcor desperately trying to keep track of what items each one was slipping into his pouches), they all turned towards Malcor and began asking questions.
“What does this do?” piped at least five different voices, each kender pointing to a different object.
“Nothing,” answered Malcor. He’d found long ago that this was by far the best answer. He beckoned to the gnome to come to the side with him. The gnome did so, obviously excited.
“Can I help you?” asked Malcor. “And what are you doing with all those… kender?”
“Oh, I’m a kender, too,” said the gnome happily. “At least I used to be. Now I’m a gnome, but not exactly. My name's Suger Rush, by the way. A mage – hey, I wonder if you know him?! - combined me and this gnome, you see. It's a wonderful story, and if you have a few moments, I'd love to tell you all about it."
"No, thank you," said Malcor. He kept his demeanor chilly and cool, refusing to reveal his shock at the gnome's true nature – only Gilean knows what Suger Rush might have "borrowed" while Malcor was trying to keep an eye on the kender! "Oh. Another time, maybe. Anyway, I wanted to ask – do you have any Bags of Magic Jumping? The kind that sorta hop from one person to another? I keep finding them, but no one believes me when I tell them what it is," here Suger Rush began to speed up, "soI'dreallyliketohaveone.Doesitcomewithacertificateorsomething thatIcanshowpeople?"
"I'm afraid I don't have any of those."
"Shame," said Suger Rush, and was about to ask for something else when he was interrupted by a kender in stained clothes and a ripped ear.
"I'm Bumblehead Waterwillow," said the kender. "Nice to meet you. You have really nice stuff here, mister. I especially like this gnomish device I found over there on the shelf." He was holding a large stick, covered with metallic ornaments that was emitting colorful sparks.
"Give me that!" cried Malcor angrily, loosing his cool at last. "That's the Staff of Psarnium, and is not to be toyed with!"
"Are you sure?" asked Bumblehead. "It sure looks gnomish to me. Or was Psarnium a gnome?"
“Look at the writing on it,” suggested a middle-aged female kender wearing a bright green hat, complete with a feather, and various pieces of gaudy jewelry.
Malcor and the kender looked at the staff, confused. “Um… Zara…” said one of the kender. “There isn’t any writing on this stick.”
“Oh,” said Zara, disappointed. “Are you sure? I was certain I saw something written on it… Well, my eyesight’s not what it used to be, you know. Do you have anything interesting in the way of spectacles? Something to help me see better.”
“No, we don’t,” said Malcor, keeping to himself the opinion that it would be a blessing if all kender were struck blind.
“Ooo, look at this!” cried another kender, this one with a scar on his cheek.
“What is it, Jastom?” asked Zara.
Jastom had uncovered Malcor’s Globe of Mystic Teleportation – a powerful and rare device that just happened to be a globe showing a map of all Krynn. Jastom and Zara were soon tossing it back and forth, singing “I’ve Got the Whole World in My Hands.” Malcor was about to try to stop them when he felt a sharp tug on his robes. He turned to see yet another kender – a female, with flowers in her hair.
“I’m Floopette Evergreen,” said the kendermaid matter-of-factly. “Do you have anything that can make my flowers talk? I’d love to know how they are, what they’re feeling, stuff like that… And I’d have someone to talk to wherever I go!”
“Me too!” shouted another kender, the one Malcor had heard the others call Thornwhistle. “Or even better – a whistle that lets me talk in any language, so I’d know what everyone was saying – that would be so much fun! I’d—“ Malcor shook his head, but Floopette and Thornwhistle weren’t paying much attention to the mage and just kept on talking. “Or maybe you could make them grow faster… or fruit! Can you make my hair grow fruit? I think I'd like bananas... No, no… oranges... No, strawberries! I love those!”
“You know,” piped up another voice, “You don’t seem to have quite a lot of things, Mister Wizard. I bet you could use some help – someone to take care of restocking the store, ordering new items, that kind of thing. I’d be happy to help – I’m very helpful. In fact, if you just give me the key to the store – oh, never mind, you must have already given it to me, because here it is right in my hand! – well, I’ll come back this evening and start taking inventory for you!”
“ENOUGH!!!” Malcor shouted. Suddenly, the shop fell silent. Malcor was quite surprised, but he realized that if he didn’t act quickly, the quiet would not last. Well, desperate times called for desperate measures…
“I will make you an offer,” said Malcor, trying to remain calm. “If you will leave me alone, I will give you an artifact of great power.”
The kender stared at Malcor, fascinated. Malcor felt relieved – this might actually get the kender out, which was by now more than worth the loss of the artifact.
"This," began the mage, "is a very powerful artifact. The owner can name five places on Ansalon - any five places, even mythical or imaginary ones - and they will appear on the map. Then, the map will transport a small group of men - or kender - to each of the places on the map for a short amount of time - several hours at each location, I believe."
The kender immediately began to chatter excitedly about how to use the map. Malcor waved the map again, and they quieted down, except for one of the kender, who said, “There’s a place that I heard about in a story… but I’m not sure if it exists. Can I go there?”
“Yes,” said Malcor. “The map will create the location – at least for as long as you’re there.”
“Can we all go?” asked another kender.
“I’m not certain,” said Malcor. “It’s meant to transport five humans… but kender are smaller, so I believe that six or seven will be able to use the map.”
Malcor looked sternly at each one of the kender in turn. "I will give you this map, on the condition that you leave my store at once and never come back again."
The kender cheered, and within ten seconds they were running out of the store, the map held high by Thornwhistle, already heatedly debating where to go first.
