Standback’s Experiment Log, Day 1
Already I am beginning to doubt the wisdom of accepting kender volunteers for my experiment. While they attempt to be cooperative and helpful, kender possess an uncanny knack to make things go wrong.
Perhaps I should attempt to be less critical, and try to see the positive side. After all, kender have been priceless assets to us gnomes and our experiments, volunteering to test out devices no-one else would touch with a 9.87 foot pole (as demonstrated by the Idiom-Examining Committee). Furthermore, with test subjects such as these, I can rest assured that the SSSSSSSVR will be tested and challenged to its maximum ability.
I must set my apprehensions aside. Some of the volunteers have already arrived; I can’t turn them back now. Taspin Swordflinger says this is one of his rare breaks from working in Queen Kylawyn’s treasury, and as for Taris Iksthemouth – well, I’d rather not have to see her kind, respectful face all scrunched up in disappointment.
Experiment Log, Day 1: Supplementary
Three more of the volunteers have arrived. Two of them, Aina Quillswiper and Thistlehoff Deersinger, are just as I expected: cheerful, overfriendly, highly talkative, and very curious. They have already set out to exploring Mount Nevermind, and five gnomes have already complained that some of their smaller creations have vanished.
The third, Mahogany Tetherfoot… well, I suppose he’s all that too. It’s just that he said he’s a mercenary. He doesn’t act violent, he’s quite nice and polite actually, but do I really want a sellsword down there in my SSSSSSSVR?
Ah, well. How much damage can he do?
Experiment Log, Day 2
The members of the Committee for Arbitrary Estimations have given me a detailed list of the damage that Mahogany Tetherfoot can do, including demolishing my experimental transportation device, dismantling the SSSSSSSVR, and destroying all of Mount Nevermind. However, inasmuch as this theoretical damage can only be done if Mahogany manages to abduct a dragon and use it to divert a comet directly at Sancrist or other similar methods, I believe I will permit Mahogany to go anyway.
The last two subjects have arrived today, and they give me new hope. They arrived together, apparently having met by coincidence in a temple of Paladine along the way. Both are most remarkable. Bayle Fleethand thinks himself a Solamnic knight, and indeed shows far more restraint than do most kender. Elm Everthorn claims that she is a priest of Paladine – an impressive character. I hope these two will be able to keep their friends in check.
Experiment Log, Day 2: Supplementary
I have begun the experiment. I have not, of course, told the test subjects the true nature of the experiment, for to do so would ruin the results of the psychological tests. Instead, I merely told them they would be testing out a new transportation device. When they emerge, they will be inside the SSSSSSSVR, and I will be right here, monitoring them.
I hope that all goes well – if these kender wind up wreaking havoc, I will be in deep (estimated 14”2) trouble.
Still – what could possibly go wrong?
