Voice over: Commander Khedriss Mennarling of the Knights of Neraka
Strike Force makes his way with his companions hauling behind them a covered wagon
through the forest. When all of a sudden they are confronted by a pack of strange
looking wild men in furs and antlered helmets.
Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Mennarling: Who are you?
Knight of Ni: We are the Knights who say..... "Ni"!
Mennarling: (Wincing against the sharp noises of their voices.)
Who?
Knight of Ni: We are the Knights who say..... "Ni"!
Mennarling: (Winces again in annoyance) You are knights?
Knight of Ni: Yes, we are the Knights who say..... "Ni"!
Mennarling: (Winces from the sound) Knights who say Nee?
Knight of Ni: The same.
Other Knight of Neraka: Who are they?
Knight of Ni: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni,
Ping, and Nee-womm!
Other Knight of Ni: Nee-womm!
Other Knight of Neraka: I’ve heard of them. Those who
hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
Knight of Ni: The knights who say "Ni" demand.....
a sacrifice!
Mennarling: Sacrifice? We’re not giving up our lives!
(turning to his men) Uncover the Death Machine and prepare to fire!
Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Knights of Neraka: (Looking at one another thoroughly confused
and annoyed with the clamor as they ready the Death Machine.)
Knight of Ni: We shall say "Ni" to you... if you
do not appease us.
Mennarling: Well what is it you want?
Knight of Ni: We want.....
(pregnant pause)
A SHRUBBERY!!!!
(dramatic minor chord)
Arthur: A *WHAT*?
Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni!! Ni! Ni!
Mennarling: Shut Up! You all must be insane! That word is
burying into my head like an axe and giving me a splitting headache. (Other
Nights of Neraka start rubbing their head and nodding.) Stop it now or you will
become the new test subjects of our death weapon.
Knight of Ni: You must return here with a shrubbery... or
else you will never pass through this wood... alive.
Mennarling: What in the Abyss would you do with a shrubbery
in the woods!?!?
Knight of Ni: When YOU have found the shrubbery, you must
place it here, beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher, so we get the two-level
effect with a little path running down the middle.
Other Knights of Ni: A path! A path! A path! Shh, shhh. Ni!
Ni!
Knight of Ni: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you
must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... Wiiiiiithh....
(pregnant pause)
A HERRING!
(dramatic minor chord)
Mennarling: Uhmm.. yeah. Ok boys let’s unleash the weapon.
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